As I reflect on how I lost my ambition over the last ten years, I can’t help but wonder if is a sign of spiritual growth or mental illness.

It has been a whole decade since I made the decision to abandon all conventional medicine. I replaced it with a wellness kick. For a while my wife was into it as well. It was the closest we had been in a short five year relationship.

You might ask if I consulted my doctor before I made that decision. I consulted the Great Physician. I was seeing a Christian counselor. It took me awhile to find him.

If you knew how the healthcare system worked, you would understand what led to my decision. Doctors will never condone a mentally ill person weaning off their medication due to the safety risk and possible loss of license.

Also once you are diagnosed with a mental illness, you may likely never be diagnosed with any physical illness. Any symptoms could easily be attributed to being depressed or manic.

I pretty much lost most of the friends I had then. We pretty much became unequally yoked since they still believed in modern medicine. I just read a verse in one of the books of Chronicles about how King Asa died because he trusted in physicians rather than seeking God for healing.

To sum up the healing process, I learned to value myself more for one thing. I also practiced meditation and staying present. This isn’t a new age term of you are meditating on the things of God in the Bible.

Over time I became more aware of my emotions. I confess I do still have minor episodes. Maybe they are right in mental illness being a lifelong condition.

However through mindfulness meditation I am able to ride out the episodes within a very short period of time. I just have to avoid people so they won’t freak out and contact the authorities.

The fruit of the spirit is self control. In addition to managing the symptoms of mental illness I became more resilient to the pressures of life. This may make me look poor on paper, but it is called discovering one’s true wealth within.

Some scientists have proved the body can heal itself. These scientists can’t figure out why we even have to die in the first place.

Modern medicine was designed to treat symptoms. Most illnesses are rooted in stress, anxiety, and other emotional problems. Many of these underlying issues may never be treated in a profit based system.

The good news is they don’t have to be treated by the system. True freedom is found in a personal and intimate relationship with the Divine. Even Jesus asked the man at the well if he wanted to be healed.