1. I actually miss the days when Hollywood was the nation’s entertainment capital, rather than Washington DC.
2. What if the government really does have our best interests at heart? #jokeoftheday
3. The less I have to do, the more I get done.
4. What exactly does the person who dies with the most toys win, anyway? A trip to an early grave?
5. Maybe if we all loved each other, morals and good behavior would take care of themselves without religion.
6. When you finally made a decision but you’re not sure which head you were using.
7. Expand your mind, because size matters.
8. Ssh. . . It happens.
9. Forget about getting in touch with your inner child. Get in touch with your inner anarchist.
10. Reasons I may be eating alone tonight; I had a date but sneezed and blew her away. Yea, that’s it.
11. The little known secret to healthcare; learn how to heal yourself. It all starts with loving and valuing yourself as a human being.
12. Always give the whole ass. Never do anything half ass.
13. Someday people will appreciate their tinfoil hat wearing friends.
14. I’m starting to feel like a hairy tick (heretic).
15. Got a 50% discount on the Blinkist App on Black Friday; WTH am I supposed to do with all of this useless knowledge.
16. (Remembering Speaker of the House John Boehner under Former President Barack Obama): I wonder how many Boehners (boners) there are in Congress now? Probably all of them.
17. Got caught in the rain again; I need to go home and get out of these clothes. 😉
18. What size shoe fits up someone’s ass? Asking for a friend.
19. Just hanging out with my old friend Orion tonight.
20. If I ever start going to church again, I’m going to the ones I was told not to go to. If your church refers to other groups as cults, that by itself makes them a “cult.”
21. Is it better to have a materially prosperous society or an empathetic one? Apparently you can’t have both.
22. Sunday brunch replaced church attendance. I’m okay with this kind of community. I love food. Plus it’s cheaper than tithing.