The Youngest Child Syndrome

I like to brag about being the youngest and only child in my family. It takes most people awhile to figure out that I am the product of a second marriage in a blended family. A few years ago, my former wife pointed out that I was a victim of the youngest child syndrome. If you want to be diagnosed with everything, marry someone with a Psychology or Anthropology degree.

Being diagnosed with the Youngest Child Syndrome led me to come up with a 12-step program for this disorder. After all there is a 12-step program for everything these days. I have yet to find a support group for this but there may be one out there somewhere.

  1. We admitted that we were powerless over immaturity and that our lives have become highly entertaining.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could help us to be more serious.
  3. Made a decision to turn our sense of humor over to God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves for new comedy material.
  5. Admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being just how funny we really are, or at least in our own minds.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God take away our sense of humor that He so generously gave us.
  7. Humbly asked Him to make us more boring individuals.
  8. Made a list of all the people with sticks up their asses that took us too seriously so as to make amends to them.
  9. Made direct amends to such people, except when to do so would make it hard to keep a straight face.
  10. Continue to take a personal inventory so as not to offend a world full of stuffed shirts.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God so as to find a balance between being funny and not offending people too much.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we strive to carry this message into the world in the form of stand-up comedy.