Developing your negatives

I like taking pictures as a hobby on my smartphone. Hopefully I can make a living doing this in the near future. I took photography in high school for a year, and I have to admit the old darkroom style was a lot more challenging than these digital cameras.

One day I got to thinking as I was looking at some negatives of a photograph someone else took. We develop negatives by turning them into colorful photos. It is the same way with life. Rather than focus on the negative aspects of your life, just develop the negatives into something more positive, or colorful.

My life as a sitcom

Growing up, I always felt misunderstood. I grew up in a working class, pseudo redneck family, where I was the intellectual of the family.  My family thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t play much outside or get into mechanical things like they do. I was more into reading and intellectual pursuits. Have you ever heard of a person being the black sheep of his family just for being an intellectual?  There are times I actually wondered if I was secretly adopted or switched at birth.

Just to clarify, I am not calling my family stupid just because I am above average. They just have average intelligence, which just means they are still intelligent more so than they realize. I must confess that I never felt like I was better than them for being above average.  They still taught me values such as hard work and how to live simply and trust in God. Most importantly I learned that if you have love for each other, you are wealthier than any aristocratic or middle class family.

All families are dysfunctional

Each family is dysfunctional in its own way. Depression actually runs in my family. I also inherited my dad’s sense of humor, which served to balance out my mom’s side of the family who had none. My mom’s sister was the driest one and she once said she was holding the family together with her sense of humor. To date, that was the funniest thing anyone in my family has ever said. God rest her soul.

One of the ways I overcame my inherited depression was to learn to find the humor in everything, within reason. Yes, depression is genetic so it counts as an inheritance. My family did not have much, but at least they left me something. What is that old saying about when life gives you lemons?
As I grew older, I felt even more misunderstood. When I first started watching Three’s Company I fell in love with that show; especially the ones with the misunderstanding (every week). By the time I got into the show, it was already in reruns. I felt like it was the theme of my life

Each year of life is like a new season

As I got older, I realized there are billions of people on this earth and sometimes it is like we all speak our own language. Sometimes it is best to just not say much, or at least any more than you have to. The Bible even says in Proverbs that a wise man is quiet. Most of the time when I speak, it is something funny; even when I am trying to be serious.

I never got into politics. I admit I either cannot understand it or there is just too much going on to even try to keep up with. Also I am not very sure how much of the political world is even real or exaggerated for advertising. The one thing I know is every time I write a political post on my blog, it always ends up being satire.

Social Media is like having your own show

Then along came Facebook. Ever since I started posting regularly on Facebook, I feel as if I am the star of my own show. I am now going into season 10; same E Bishop time, same E Bishop channel (pretty much 24/7).  Facebook even has memories where you can view old posts made today several years ago. Every day that I go through that, I feel like my own show is airing in reruns-and for free

People still tell me that I should be a standup comedian. I come to realize they only said that because most of them do not like to read. Why would I want to risk getting cancer in some smoky club when I could just as easily become a humor writer? For more jokes, funny stories and one liners, I can be found pretty much anywhere on the Internet if you Google my name. I am literally an open book. No wonder I do not talk much. Strangely enough, once I do I usually can’t shut up. Twenty years since graduating from high school and at my last reunion I went from “Why don’t you talk much” to “Don’t you ever shut up”.  

To sum it up, The E Bishop Show just started season 42 (the meaning of life) and will probably run for a few more decades. It has an amazing cast though I am not really sure what the plot is.

COPS: The first and the best reality TV show

I confess that I love watching COPS. I didn’t watch it much growing up unless I caught the double feature every Saturday night on Fox. I watched it more in recent years when either Spike or True TV would run marathons. I also admit that I really didn’t pay attention unless something major happened. It is one of those shows where if you seen one episode you pretty much seen them all.

Now that I finally have an Amazon Prime membership, I can buy some of the older seasons for $10 per season; as far back as Season 19. The show is basically the first reality TV show, and longest running.

I love the show because it is fun to watch people get busted; as long as it is not yourself. It is kind of a live action version of the Jerry Springer Show.

I also like listening to the people that get stopped by the police as they make up some of the weirdest excused for doing what they did to get pulled over. For example, one guy said he was speeding because he had to take a piss.

It is even funnier when people hide drugs in their crotch because they actually believe the police are not going to search there. You have to feel sorry for the officer who has to reach in there to pull out a stash that the suspect hid.

One thing I learned from watching Cops is that if you purchase a vehicle, make sure it is not stolen. If someone reports a car stolen and the police pull you over, they do not ask questions. It is almost like guilty until proven innocent. Fortunately you can always note the VIN number and contact the police department in your area and confirm that it is not stolen. Especially with all of these cheap deals on cars that I keep seeing on these apps. Makes you wonder someone isn’t desperate enough to steal their friends car and make a quick buck.

That was off topic, but that’s all for today. I am about to go catch another episode of Cops. Let’s see who does something stupid tonight.