I think I have a drinking problem

I think I may have a drinking problem. I’m just confessing it and don’t really plan on doing anything about it. Confession alone feels good for the soul. Actually I don’t really have a drinking problem as I drink just fine.

I confess I don’t know what I would do if I couldn’t drink coffee anymore. I have been drinking the sweet elixir of life ever since I was a toddler. Straight out of the bottle.

I may have stunted my growth, but I’m 75โ€ tall. That’s 6’3โ€ for those bad in math and who don’t understand their measurements. Maybe I stunted my growth in other areas that I really can’t put on a blog post.

The best part of waking up is Folgers in your bottle. ๐Ÿ˜‚

You thought I was going to say in your cup? Now that you got that jingle stuck in your head, this is a good time for me to close.

The Youngest Child Syndrome

I like to brag about being the youngest and only child in my family. It takes most people awhile to figure out that I am the product of a second marriage in a blended family. A few years ago, my former wife pointed out that I was a victim of the youngest child syndrome. If you want to be diagnosed with everything, marry someone with a Psychology or Anthropology degree.

Being diagnosed with the Youngest Child Syndrome led me to come up with a 12-step program for this disorder. After all there is a 12-step program for everything these days. I have yet to find a support group for this but there may be one out there somewhere.

  1. We admitted that we were powerless over immaturity and that our lives have become highly entertaining.
  2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could help us to be more serious.
  3. Made a decision to turn our sense of humor over to God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves for new comedy material.
  5. Admitted to God, ourselves, and another human being just how funny we really are, or at least in our own minds.
  6. Were entirely ready to have God take away our sense of humor that He so generously gave us.
  7. Humbly asked Him to make us more boring individuals.
  8. Made a list of all the people with sticks up their asses that took us too seriously so as to make amends to them.
  9. Made direct amends to such people, except when to do so would make it hard to keep a straight face.
  10. Continue to take a personal inventory so as not to offend a world full of stuffed shirts.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God so as to find a balance between being funny and not offending people too much.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we strive to carry this message into the world in the form of stand-up comedy.

A little dank poem about common sense

I have a little joke about common sense.

You can stop laughing as I havenโ€™t told it yet.

Common sense never was given a proper burial.

They just threw that mofo in the ground and buried it alive.

A funny thing about common sense

It has gotten so rare that when someone does use it, it amazes them

They look at you like you are some kind of genius

Or perhaps an alien from another planet.

This gets old

I made a meme with Angry Walter from Big Labowski played by Roseanne’s John Goodman. This meme was in response to all the ignorance from people who actually think Christmas is actually Jesus’s birthday.

In actuality historians pinpoint the Lord’s birthday to September, meaning he was co conceived around Christmas. That would make sense that the Hebrew messiah was born at the start of the Jewish New Year.

Opinions are like assholes

Proverbs 23:7. . . As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Today’s daily rant is just me wondering when a person’s opinion becomes a fact. People tend to think that because they, along with most of the people they associate with, believe that their opinion are the Gospel truth. Religious denominations have been formed around this. Anybody that questions it becomes an outcast.

The most known example is that most people believe life is hard. So they assume that it’s a fact that life is hard. It is still an opinion because some people know that life is what you make it. If it’s hard then you are making it hard. And creating a theology or philosophy that justifies it.

Part of the fall of man is that people are oriented toward the negative. On top of that, many don’t believe in freewill; thus they get a helpless victim mentality view of life.

Today’s verse says ,”as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”. If you want a positive life, you have to take personal responsibility and change your thoughts. Most mental and even physical illnesses are a result of “stinkin’ thinkin'” as Joyce Meyer would say.

Another opinion came from someone I dated. It goes “opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one and they all stink.” Or as the Bible puts it, “let God’s Word be true and every man a liar.”